Sometimes, the best way to learn about what something is is to consider its opposite.

In 1 Corinthians verse 5 Paul gives three more examples of what love is NOT.:[Love] does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

For the past almost 40 years, I have lived with the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful woman. This woman has patiently served alongside me as a pastor’s wife in places far from her family and friends. She even let me drag her halfway across the world to England to start a church with a toddler in tow and she was “great with child” as in, about to pop. She has been a great wife to me and a mom to our 11 children.

I love her more than anything on the planet and her name is Karen. Sadly, the name Karen has, in recent years come to be associated with a certain kind of middle-aged woman who is, shall we say a bit entitled, difficult to please, and hard to get along with. The woman who “asks to speak to the manager” is referred to as a “Karen”. I like to tell people “My wife is named Karen but she is not a Karen.”

Why do “Karens” cause endless eye rolls? Because they are very insistent on getting their way, they tend to be easily irritated by normal human flaws and frustrating situations, and they carry resentment towards those who upset them, they are not quick to forgive and give people a second chance.

If the Apostle Paul was writing to today’s Christians he could simply say “Don’t be a Karen” and would easily get his point across. Instead, Paul might say be an Annabelle, which means “loving” or for a male be an Amadeus, which means “love of God.” (Although for many Annabelle was ruined by the horror movie franchise bearing that name. For older people like me the name Amadeus was ruined by the movie about Mozart- a talented musician and horrible person).

Instead of being a Karen who insists on having her way, be an Annabelle who, as Paul says in Philippians 2:3 learns to “value others above yourselves.” Instead of being a Karen who is irritable or easily angered be an Amadeus who is “slow to speak and slow to anger.” (James 1:19). Instead of being a Karen who is resentful, be a person who practices forgiving “70 times 7” as Jesus taught. (Matthew 18:22).

By now you might be wondering, does Paul want me to become like, a whole different person by doing all these practical, loving things? Paul wants us to allow the one perfectly loving person, Jesus, to radically take over our lives. To be so full of God’s spirit and love that “to live is Christ.”