Have you ever yearned for something?

I recently had a baby boy, who decided, after about 3.5 weeks of false labor contractions and me walking around 4cm dilated for a week, he would grace us with his appearance 2 days after his due date. For comparison, my firstborn came a week early with only those pesky Braxton Hicks contractions leading up to his debut. Anyone who has known me over the past 9 months knows that I was fully convinced this second baby was coming early. It felt like my entire mind was consumed by thinking about going into labor every moment of every day! I was grouchy, distracted, and mentally exhausted. My yearning brought me no closer to my baby, and really only made me more distant from everything positive going on around me.

The sons of Korah write in Psalm 84:2 “My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.” (NIV). The NET translation phrases it as “with my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God”. This verse paints a picture of absolute, consuming, desire for closeness with God. The chapter continues on to describe a blessed happiness that can be found when focused on praising the Almighty, when trusting in the Lord of Hosts! (v. 4, 12).

Psalm 85 continues this picture of desiring closeness with God, but takes a slightly different perspective. In Psalm 84, I get this imagery of excitement, anticipation, energized passion for God, whereas Psalm 85 depicts an image of peace, protection, and righteousness in relationship. There is still a deep longing for a connection, but it’s like comparing the honeymoon, “puppy-love” phase of a new marriage, to a secure, content, lifelong covenant marriage.

Verse 9 describes this type of relationship through salvation by fearing God. This “fear” is derived from the Hebrew word “yare”, which means to revere, or be afraid of because of profound respect . It’s not meant to be a fear that causes us to avoid approaching the throne, but rather a fear that places us in rightful, humble, submission to an awesome God, worthy of being revered, and yearned for. One that should make us say, “my whole source of joy is in you” (Ps. 87:7).

Even though babies are one of the greatest gifts, my yearning to deliver my son began to impact my relationship with God (and others!) as I began to prioritize birth over my spiritual relationship with the One who made life. I wanted to control the timing, and I wanted it to be now! But, when I started to misplace my priorities, I felt less joy, less excitement, and less peace about the whole situation. How often does this happen in our lives? We begin to place closeness to someone or something above our desire for closeness with God… and unsurprisingly, we don’t get the same satisfaction we may have been hoping for. We can become bitter, resentful, stressed, you name it… anything but joyful. Yearning with such intenseness for the wrong things in life, even when they are good things, will never lead to a joy-filled life. BUT, when we keep ourselves yearning intensely for a relationship with God, and when we humble ourselves to Him, we experience true joy, true peace, and true satisfaction, only He can deliver!

(And baby boy arrived healthy and happy, just when God intended him too )