Proverbs 18:22 ”He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” I cannot resist taking the opportunity to think with you about how important this is. Dr. Dustin Smith recently published an excellent book Wisdom Christology in the Gospel of John. In his book he spends time looking at the book of Proverbs and how it lauds “lady wisdom” as being a very important part of God’s creation. He shows how the book of Proverbs refers to this lady wisdom throughout and builds to a climax in the final chapter with a description of an exemplary wife as the embodiment of wisdom. (You should check the book out, It is available on Amazon in both print and Kindle).

Throughout Proverbs there is a close connection between wisdom and a “good wife”. King Solomon who wrote or assembled much of the material in Proverbs certainly had a somewhat complicated life in relation to women or wives. His own mother, Bathsheba, became his father David’s wife in a very ungodly way. His father committed adultery with her and then had her husband killed in battle to try to cover it up. Talk about family skeletons. Solomon himself took the trapping of being a king way too far and had a whole harem of wives and concubines. As wise as he eventually was, it was a challenge to live out the truth. Perhaps Solomon came to the wise insight of this problem as he reflected on the challenges and costs of having multiple wives and a stable of sexual partners. This might appear to be the perfect life (think Hugh Heffner, the founder of Playboy magazine, constantly surrounded by beautiful young women- isn’t that the fulfillment of every young man’s fantasies?

Yet, at some point in his life, Solomon finally comes to the wise realization that having a large number of sexual partners is in fact, not very satisfying, not very wise and in fact is not the path to a flourishing life. Solomon comes to realize that true joy, true flourishing comes in finding “a wife”, one, singular woman with whom to enter into a lifetime covenant. This was God’s design from the beginning of creation. God created Adam from the earth, but recognized that Adam would not flourish in isolation. He needed a companion, someone alongside him to share his life. So God created Eve and told them to work together to bring flourishing to the earth. This was God design for flourishing.

Solomon came to wisely recognize the truth that having a wife, not 700 wives and 300 girlfriends, is the truly good thing and is a true gift from God and a sign of God’s gracious favor. It is too bad that Solomon did not learn this lesson earlier, as the Bible says his multiple wives turned his heart away from God. But at least in his honest and reflective moment he could come to terms with his own mistakes and sins and see where the truth really is in God’s design. And that is true for all of us. Wisdom is not poured into our brains, it comes by experience and we make many mistakes on the way to wisdom.

As I write this devotion I am getting ready to go on a special trip with my wife. This year we are celebrating 40 years of marriage so we are going to a beautiful place far away to celebrate our life together. During that 40 years we have been blessed with eleven children and fifteen, soon to be sixteen grandchildren. Our marriage has not been perfect. I did plenty of really stupid stuff when I was younger. (And, to be honest, I still do stupid stuff sometimes.) My Karen has been by my side throughout. She loves me, she bore, nursed, fed and clothed and cared for my eleven children. She accompanied me to each place I did ministry, packing up everything and organizing massive relocation projects. She has helped me navigate challenges in my ministry, my spiritual growth, my ongoing education and my ongoing health challenges. I can honestly say that she has made me a better person. Apart from my decision to accept Jesus Christ as my savior and follow him, my decision to marry Karen is the wisest thing I have ever done. She is a daily reminder to me that Solomon’s wise words are 100% true, ”He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

When I was young, I didn’t understand the wisdom of these words. Even when I was newly married I failed to appreciate just how true these words are. I am speaking this from the perspective of a man married to a woman. A woman’s view of her husband may be different in some respects, but I would say that there is much you can apply in your life as well. The importance is taking the time to truly appreciate the value that your spouse brings to your life and if you are unmarried, consider how truly important the decision on who you will marry is, and when married, the importance of gratitude for the one God has provided for you. They are not perfect just as you are not perfect, but they are a gift from God and a part of a flourishing life so appreciate them, value them, cherish them.